Monday, November 27, 2006

Ramadhan: Evaluating One Month of Daytime Fasting

This article is part of The Ramadan Series.

A unique opportunity for a spiritual as well as a nutritional experience. Forced spirituality and the need for rituals.

Concluding the experience of the fasting month of Ramadan, I am trying to evaluate the technical, nutritional experience and the gradual unfolding of the immaterial component.

General observations: Since the eating schedule is coupled to the sun and the sunset in particular, the time of day regains its tangible meaning. Also, the days are becoming shorter during the month. The last day has more than 90 minutes less sun -- and less fasting for that matter -- than the first day. In central Europe, that is.

While I perceived the fasting mainly in daily cycles, a procedural evolution over time, specifically, four phases are easy to identify. The first week of fasting is dealing with the dizzy feeling of thirst and a slight motoric fatigue, especially during the late afternoon hours. Week two successfully concludes the adaptation period with overall well-being setting in. The third week represents the peak of forced spirituality. Finally, week four consists of mostly hunter and gatherer thinking, built on top of the fasting. The experience eventually gave rebirth to the hunter inside me.

Week one is best and not surprisingly summed up with "daily thirst." The thirst-induced dizziness is interesting as it is naturally and consciously felt and experienced as a spiritual phenomenon -- you get what you expect. On the first day of the month, I broke my -- up to that day -- strict vegan diet and ate fish. I rotated high carb and high protein days with a ratio of roughly 1:3, one day on high carbs and three days on high protein. In fact, the meals consisted of more carbs on the carbohydrate days while leaving the proteins approximately at the same level, all instinctively and based on intuition, without actually measuring anything.

In contrast to the Warrior Diet, the daytime fasting without drinking seems to somewhat slow down the metabolism, the body acts as if it is starving, which technically it is not. I suspect that the missing fluid intake during the day tricks the body into starvation mode. Concentration issues and a slow, calm, and mellow feeling accompany the days.

During the second week, restraint changed its face and became "conscious thirst." Water makes all the difference. The metabolism adapted and started to react more like when stimulated by overeating. You find yourself constantly observing your mind and body for signs of deprivation, always alert and open for that special, spiritual situation. A side effect of eating before dawn is the appreciation of the magic during these beautiful hours.

The third week shifted the corporeal sensation to higher levels, I like to refer to it as "spiritual thirst." Very pure without any side-effects. The purpose of rituals becomes clear. There is little doubt that the whole exercise of fasting for a month is meant to have each and every participant enjoy the feeling of what I call forced spirituality. When you afford the willpower and the discipline to follow the fasting for such a long time, when you essentially conquer your mind and your body during that month, you just can't help to spend time exploring your spiritual potential. Four weeks of strict adherence to the rules should be more than enough time to ensure a spiritual experience for virtually each and every participant.

I further evolved my diet and eventually introduced eggs. Interesting to note, the spiritual relationship between fasting, eating and killing. I notice a sensibilization of the whole body towards food and efficient food choices, especially regarding the exact quantities of food. Again, weight loss is not intended and doesn't take place -- weight gain isn't supposed to happen either. Fasting is not a method to loose excess body fat.

Ultimately, during the fourth and final week, permanent change occurred, as in "transcended thirst." Business as usual. You get used to anything over time. The hunter is back, including the implications of eating animal produce after gradually introducing fish and eggs over the course of the month.

The fasting aftermath during the fifth week is a time for readaptation and the reprogramming of drinking water during the daytime. In reality, there is no readaptation needed, the first week after fasting is strongly shaped by the discipline and the resolve that enabled the fasting in the first place.

Conclusion: Neither suffering nor physical fasting is the main objective. It is the overall experience with highlights such as the appreciation of dawn and the intangible component which is experienced differently but almost guaranteed for each individual.

Commit yourself to something, anything for a prolonged and significant time and monitor yourself closely. Try something different. Whatever it may be. Note how time and circumstances are shaped and suddenly change at your fingertips when lived through a slightly changed context. To get started, you need the usual combination of willpower in the beginning and after the ignition, discipline, to take over. By the way, self-prescribed, or self-inflicted discipline is not that hard -- usually, you are not going to rebel against yourself, exceptions notwithstanding. An open outcome attitude is also helpful -- I never expected to change the foundations of my diet as an indirect result of the whole journey. The little things along the way, the apparently trivial events and situations, are what to watch out for.

Remember Today

The most beautiful day in your life. When was it? How was it? What made it so special and different from any other day you can think of? How did that day feel and what was the reason for that feeling? Is it likely and realistic to induce that feeling again, to repeat, if not the day, then at least the feeling?

Although that one day is long gone and it won't come back anymore, the memories and the accompanying emotions will never fade away. Take a look at all your beautiful days in your life so far. What do these special, outstanding days have in common? They are perfect, they are unplanned, unexpected things happen, yet everything feels easy and like planned and executed by a divine hand.

What do you expect to experience today? Do you expect an ordinary day or do you want a special one? You work today and you have a packed schedule and there is no time for any special moment? You plan on spending a perfect day on the weekend, your schedule will be free of stress and obligations, there will be plenty of time and everything is setup to accomodate future memories... How come that -- that day, the supposedly perfect, prepared, and predetermined day, turns out to be not special at all? No memories to take into the future to remember another beautiful day. Why is that?

Let's go back to that day full of work. Full of decisions. Now, decide to make every moment special. Have a meeting? Make it special by chosing a different location, the most perfect location you can think of. Going to introduce yourself to an audience? Make it perfect by presenting yourself in the most special way possible.

Since every moment you are going to encounter will be there for you exactly once -- decide and resolve to invest everything you have into every moment. Accept time and the present instead of resisting it, waiting for a better future. You'll end up waiting forever. Make the most out of every second you have because it will pass no matter how you spend it. Time passes anyway so why not enjoy it in its present, while it lasts?

The most beautiful day? Today.

Employ Your Instincts Against Overtraining and Burnout

Plato has Phaedrus say: You will soon break the bow if you keep it always stretched.

When the initial motivation is extremely high or the external and internal, personal expectations are too demanding, often physical and mental burnout are observable. What is happening in management can be compared to a similar phenomenon in sports: overtraining, plateaus, physical burnout, and fatigue are the results of the triumph of will over sensibility. The cure against burnout and overtraining is very simple: stop immediately and rest.

Excessive training, trying too hard, or monotonous routines that don't challenge the mind or body lead to overtraining syndrome with symptoms that are hard to recognize and differentiate from mere temporary exhaustion or psychological causes instead of effects.

Overtraining may lead to training plateaus, the body cannot catch up regenerating itself and gets stuck on a mid-level that is achievable without adequate rest. Overtraining is the result of weeks or months of wrong training, you're not going to burnout after a couple of days or some high intensity training.

An effective strategy to avoid and to prevent overtraining is to listen to your body's needs and its instincts. It's all too easy to override pain in order to achieve the next promising and potentially rewarding goal. The body as well as the mind need rest. Growth and improvement take place while not training, while at rest, between workouts and after work. Hard work is definitely necessary but the moment it becomes mindless it is a sure sign of becoming insensible and therefore against nature's requirements.

It is vitally important for eventual success to balance and level the eagerness in the beginning and focus on maintaining the discipline through the initial motivation and the lows and the highs and the plateaus.

Consciously relax and release all the tension from time to time. Make no exercise a dedicated exercise and count the non-reps, e.g. try to statically hold nothing for the intended duration. This special exercise is the only exercise that let's you grow while still working on it...

The same holds true for corporate executives: rest consciously without working at all. Schedule an amount of time where you absolutely do not work. Consciously dedicate this time to not working at all. As a side effect, you will notice how, perhaps unexpectedly, your productivity will go up. Your energies will replenish and you will gain new clarity.

Enjoy every moment of your recovery, as much as you enjoyed, with all your heart, work until crashing.

Willpower: Let Go of Everything

You have a strong will. People fear your willpower, you even celebrate it. Yet, against popular belief, you cannot change other people's will with your own will, no matter how strong or terrible it is.

You may use seduction or force to get what you want, but you cannot put up willpower against willpower. Try to recall such a situation -- did it work? What were the consequences?

Get rid of the belief that you can control everything, because you can't. In fact, you are not even able to control anything, what you can and do control is your perception of things and events. You control and set up your expectations and your evaluations of events and their particular circumstances -- this is the mechanism to influence reality itself. Your subjective perceptions do objectively change your realities. You change your point of view, you walk around the object of contempt or desire and start to see it from different perspectives.

Putting up your will against an undesirable situation causes frustration and resent, your own frustration and the situations' resent. You may use or leverage some hierarchical power to change the situation but this is not your will. The moment you're trying to control your environment through your will, you do in fact force that very will upon your own mind. Your ability to create suffers as a consequence.

Change the situation using your will for good, not going against any other person's will and you are going to employ willpower for the first time in an economical and successful manner. Use that powerful will of yours to enhance and enforce your discipline, for example.

Let go. As an exercise, let go of everything. How does that feel? Let go of everything and consciously select the few things that you actually desire to productively take care of. Let go of everything else.

Now you are free. Free to create and free to succeed.

Quick Motivation: You Live in Paradise

The first moment you spent on earth was the beginning of a new world, the world at your fingertips. You grew up and you noticed the nature of the nature of every living thing.

You have the most beautiful life imaginable. You have it all. Everything is coming to you. Everybody adores you. You have, at your disposal, some unique, natural gifts that are waiting to get explored.

You indulge in whatever passion you want. You have the capabilities and the potential to achieve it all.

Your mind is more than able to handle even the most demanding questions and to produce answers comprehensible to anybody who would ask.

Your presence is shining brightly and your glow illuminates the ground you walk on. In whatever guise you appear, your light is impossible to dim.

Your talents are unique in their realm. You walk on paths that nobody else has ever touched.

You can have it all. Reach out and grab what is rightfully yours. You deserve it and you won't take it away from anyone else because there is enough for everyone.

You are special. You have the means to have everything you ever dreamt of.

Deal with it. Accept your responsibility.

Sunday, November 19, 2006

Shakespeare and Islam: Good Neighbors?

By Rianne C. ten Veen*

Ever heard of Shakespeare and Islam being mentioned in one sentence? If not, then you probably haven’t been to the UK this autumn, particularly during the week of November 22-28. Let me explain.

Shakespeare’s Globe Theatre and the Islamic Society of Britain (ISB) organized a Shakespeare and Islam season for the autumn of 2004. The theme for this year’s Islam Awareness Week was “Your Muslim Neighbor.”

As part of this cooperation, a souk, or traditional Arabian market, was arranged during the last weekend of November in the reconstruction of Shakespeare’s original Globe Theatre. According to the leaflet advertising the event, this souk would include “fantastic winter shopping opportunities.” This was very true, so I was glad that I left most of my money at home, or I would be bankrupt by now. Anyway, just window shopping was very satisfying for the eyes and ears. The souk also included art and craft demonstrations by the Prince’s School of Traditional Art, an exhibition of photography by Peter Sanders, a series of “souk talks,” and “wisdom-oriented entertainment” by the Khayaal Theatre Company.

Considering the time they had been allocated, speakers at the “souk talks” were encouraged to be very “souk-cinct”—how else, for example, could one explain basics of the faith and the history of Islam in just 30 minutes? It was a very diverse series of talks ranging from the practical “Islamic Calligraphy” to the multiple identities of human beings in “A Muslim Female Trajectory,” and from a preachy presentation on “The concept of the Hereafter in Islam” to the bubbly young journalist who at the last minute took over from the original speaker on “Halal meat, Headscarves, and Terrorism.”

According to the first speaker of the day, Hassan Abedin from the Oxford Centre for Islamic Studies (OXCIS) who lectured on “Islam in the Modern World,” Ramadan is like a month-long New Year’s resolution. He reminded us that although Islam is often popularly thought of as being an Arab religion, the top five countries with the highest Muslim populations are lands which are far away from Arabia, such as Indonesia. Even though Syria and Jordan, for example, are known as Muslim countries, France has more Muslims (5 million) than either Syria or Jordan (3.2 million each).

Dr Dawud Noibi, a former Islamic consultant of the London-based Iqra Trust, suggested that Muslims should be good neighbors as their belief in life after death influences their actions and behavior in life on earth. Unfortunately, his implication that non-Muslims are “wicked infidels” did not go down very well with those keen to learn about Islam and their Muslim neighbors, and undid quite a bit of the good of the first speaker. Some excellent advice he had for Muslims though was that we should always remember that all our actions are recorded far more meticulously than CCTV cameras and DVD can ever record.

Mr. Nasser Mansour, an Islamic calligrapher and teacher at the Prince’s School of Traditional Arts, mentioned that the modern version of the saying “the pen is mightier than the sword” would be “the computer is more powerful than the atom bomb.” During his talk, he focused on the four stages of making a traditional pen from material similar to bamboo—opening, sharpening, slitting, and clipping. For non-Arab speakers it was funny to hear that a pen gets tested by writing the Arabic letter waw, which looks similar to the English letter g or the number 9.

The overriding advice of Zarah Hussein, a young female journalist, speaking instead of scheduled Fareena Alam, who had to travel to Syria at the last minute, was that if we want our non-Muslim neighbors to understand us better, more Muslims should work in the media. She mentioned that ignorance about Islam is the greatest fuel for Islamophobia. As most of us get our information from the media, it is not enough for her alone, the only hijabi at the BBC (besides the cleaner) during 9/11, to carry the torch. It is important for us to explain that the vast majority of Muslims are just as interested in housing, education, and crime prevention as anybody else, though we do have to differentiate between Islam and our cultural peculiarities.

By 3 p.m. it was time for a talk on “Art and Alchemy” by Mr. David Cranswick, who is a traditional painter with a doctorate from the Prince of Wales Institute in London. The word alchemy comes from the Arabic word al-kimiya or al-khimiya, meaning cast together, or pour together, or weld, or alloy, and so on. The main element from this talk was the organization of colors with the help of the seven visible planets: That is, Mars, for example, carries colors from ochre to brown and Venus carries colors such as blue and green. Could that be where John Gray got his inspiration from when he argued that “Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus”?

Dr. Matthew Birchwood is a visiting scholar at the Centre for Editing Lives and Letters, Queen Mary University in London and is specialized in the role of Islam in literary-political discourses of the seventeenth century in England. He, along with Dr. Matthew Dimmock, who is an English Lecturer at the University of Sussex, was allotted a talk on “Icons and Infidels.” They focused on two visits by Moroccan ambassadors to seventeenth century England (it is amazing how much paintings can say about politics and religion!). They started off with the sad statement that 500 years on, the Moors are, once again, about to be evicted from Spain.

Sarah Joseph, the chief editor of EMEL magazine, an Islamic lifestyle magazine, mentioned that she was recently asked to squeeze herself into a description of just three words. Having so many identities and character aspects, the main thing she could mention was being human. Although she is obviously not unique in that respect, it did clarify that we have the capacity to relate to other human beings instead of always identifying ourselves as a minority: We can perceive ourselves as part and parcel of society, as human as our non-Muslim neighbors.

After mentioning having a very thick skin and being willing to handle any question, she was asked about the famous wife-beating clause in the Qur’an. She answered that, although this clause was not the one that had tipped her over the edge to decide to become Muslim some 17 years ago, she stated that with proper questioning of the historical context and interpretation of the verse, it was clear that far from introducing domestic violence, it actually sought to extinguish it. What it meant to convey is that partners who “have words” don’t automatically get a one way ticket to Hell. The life of the Prophet Mohammed (peace and blessings be upon him) is, again, our great example in this respect.

To end the day, Dr Matthew Birchwood spoke again, this time about the “Alchoran,” the first translation of the Qur’an into English, dating back to 1649. This shows that Islam has been a good neighbor in the UK for much longer than the Asian invasion of the 1950s.

With all these interesting talks to attend, there was little time left to listen to the three short plays and the collection of short stories specially produced for the occasion by the British Khayaal (Arabic for imagination) Theatre Company. Just looking at them for a bit, though, on the brilliantly decorated stage and wearing beautiful, historical outfits, it was easy to drift off and believe I was actually in Arabia as it was a few centuries ago.

Finally, judging by the accents, there were quite a few of our neighbors present from across the pond. According to one of the people who had come from the US, many had come over to London as students, and they had been joined this weekend by vacationers using Thanksgiving as an excuse to visit their neighbors on the other side of the ocean.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

* Rianne C. ten Veen is IslamOnline.net correspondent in Birmingham, UK. Currently, she is an employee in Islamic Relief.

Title: The Caged Virgin

Author: Ayaan Hirsi Ali
Publisher: Free Press, 2006
208 pages
ISBN: 0743288335

It's obviously what I've been waiting for all my life: a secular crusader - armed with enlightenment philosophy, the stamp of the liberal establishment and the promise of sexual freedom - swooping into my harem and liberating me from my "ignorant," "uncritical," "dishonest" and "oppressed" Muslim existence. At least that's what Ayaan Hirsi Ali thinks I've been waiting for. Her latest book, The Caged Virgin, is a collection of essays intended to unveil the sexual terrorism she says is inherent in Islam. In reality, it is a smash-and-grab aggregation of inconsistencies, platitudes and poor scholarship.

Hirsi Ali was born Ayaan Hirsi Magan in Somalia in 1969, but grew up in Kenya. As a young adult, she moved to Germany and later the Netherlands, allegedly to escape a forced marriage. She learnt Dutch and put herself through a degree. She soon became a prominent and controversial politician - a brown face made welcome by her shrill denunciations of Islam, the Prophet Muhammad and Europe's "backward Muslims." Last year, Time hailed her as one of the world's "100 most influential people." The Economist described her as a "cultural ideologue of the new right."

However, the publication of The Caged Virgin couldn't have come at a worse time for Hirsi Ali, a woman who has built her career on being a victim. In May, a Dutch television documentary alleged that her story didn't add up. The programme's makers (who travelled to Kenya to speak to her family and those who knew her as a child) claimed that Hirsi Ali had lied to enter the Netherlands and had fabricated her past. The political friends who had made her the darling of the Dutch right speedily retreated from her side. As author and academic Jytte Klausen, who knows Hirsi Ali, recently claimed: "She wasn't forced into a marriage. She had an amicable relationship with her husband, as well as with the rest of her family. It was not true that she had to hide from her family for years."

Now that that doubt has been cast on the experiences she relies on to give her arguments authority, her new book reads more like a whimper than a bang.

Practically all of Hirsi Ali's conclusions are based on her own "tortured" experiences and observations of Islam. Besides the superficial references to Qur'anic verses and the occasional Prophetic saying, she provides little evidence to back up her claims that the Muslim woman is a caged virgin - sexualized, segregated, universally denied human rights - and that Islamic theology is responsible for this. Hirsi Ali is not breaking new ground.

Others, such as the controversial Fatima Mernissi and Leila Ahmed, have been here before, except that their work is meatier, making reference to classical texts and engaging in important historical debates. The Caged Virgin is the cheap tabloid version - accessible, flimsy, forgettable.

The sad thing is that many of the concerns Hirsi Ali raises - forced marriage, female genital mutilation, sexual violence, lack of education, economic underachievement and the obsession with static gender roles - are genuine challenges facing Muslim (and many other) women. Hirsi Ali makes some thoughtful points - except that they are lost among the inaccuracies, exaggerations and omissions. To demonstrate Islam's obsession with female sexuality, for example, Hirsi Ali quotes the Qur'anic verse calling on women to behave modestly, but conveniently omits the first part of the verse, which demands the same of men before it addresses women. The picture Hirsi Ali paints of Gestapo-like Muslim homes is laughable. She writes that "lies are constantly being told about the most intimate matters . . . Children learn from their mothers that it pays to lie. Mistrust is everywhere and lies rule." Perhaps she wrote this so she would have a defence when her own lies were revealed.

Reading Hirsi Ali, you would think that she and a handful of other enlightened women, like her good friend Irshad Manji, are the only ones who have figured all this out. Apparently, the majority of Muslims women are conditioned from birth by their religion not to think. This misrepresentation is a tragic disservice to the women Hirsi Ali seeks to liberate.

It's strange how many times she says "we Muslims" in her book. For someone who is an atheist and claims not to be a "Muslim," such appeals to sisterly solidarity are disingenuous. It's a not-so-clever attempt to lend authenticity to her argument: clearly, if a Muslim criticises her religion, then it must be bad. Muslims are not homogenous - they do not all think, act and believe in the same way. Islam manifests itself through a vast array of experiences. As a British Muslim, for instance, I am as Western as I am anything else. Hirsi Ali has fallen into the trap of identity politics. Being a Muslim is a religious moniker - Muslims are not a tribe or a race. You don't have to be Muslim to criticise Islam or Muslims, but at least be honest about it.

Long before Hirsi Ali arrived in Europe, Muslim women were fighting against ignorance, religious prejudice and cultural misunderstanding. They are still pushing the boundaries, playing an increasingly important public role and advocating real long-term change - slowly but surely. For groups such as London's An Nisa Society, which pioneered programs in sexual health, domestic violence and mental health two decades ago, Islam is a potent, powerful ally. Many Muslim women want to maintain a strong, spiritual connection with their faith - a choice Hirsi Ali seeks to deny them. These brave women sadly do not have the luxury of monetary resources, bodyguards, spin doctors and PR agencies - things that Hirsi Ali takes for granted.

She recently said that her audience consists mainly of Muslims. Nonsense. Her hatred of Islam and her patronising attitude towards Muslim women who disagree with her makes her ideas palatable only to the "white liberals" whose prejudices about Islam and Muslims she reinforces. In fact, anyone who works with Muslim communities, respecting their faith but seeking positive change, is accused of forging a "satanic pact . . . [making] their living by representing Muslim interests, extending aid to them, and cooperating with them in their development."

For Hirsi Ali, the answer is clear: Islam is at fault and needs to be discarded. But her experiences are not mine, or those of the many Muslim women I work with every day. We are, it seems, to believe that the obsession with female virginity is at the heart of every Muslim malaise. Such pseudo-sociological scat wouldn't pass muster in an A-level exam.

Hirsi Ali also suffers from historical amnesia. She is so caught up in her undergraduate political science training that she can't see beyond Spinoza, Voltaire and Kant. "Reading works," she says, "by Western thinkers is regarded as disrespectful to the Prophet and Allah's message." Who says this? Nor does Hirsi Ali add that the catalyst for the Enlightenment lay in the knowledge-transfer from Muslim civilisation to Europe through Andalusia. The notions of female personhood, independence of wealth and the right to education are as old as Islam itself. The biographies of scholars and saints during the classical age include thousands of female ulama (religious scholars), with many leading universities being established by wealthy women of means.

Prophet Muhammad's first love was a woman 15 years older than himself. Khadija was not only a widow (a non-virgin, I'll have you know), she was a businesswoman who proposed marriage to the young Muhammad, an honest and trusted worker in her business. They lived 27 years together before Khadija died. Fast forward to today, where I am surrounded by loving, functional Muslim families that defy Hirsi Ali's statements. Even Yusuf Qaradawi, the Qatar-based cleric who Hirsi Ali condemns, is married to a sprightly senior al-Jazeera journalist. I met her at a conference in Istanbul last weekend. She defies every stereotype, sitting at the head table with her husband and other major scholars.

Muslims, frankly, pay too much attention to Hirsi Ali. She isn't interested in a genuine engagement with Muslim women. She is content to be an outsider posing as a co-religionist. This may win her favour elsewhere, but not in the communities she seeks to reform.

Incidentally, Hirsi Ali has just had her Gloria Gaynor moment. The Dutch political establishment now wants her forgiveness and has put pressure on the immigration minister to reverse her decision to take away Hirsi Ali's citizenship. But Hirsi Ali has found new chums at the American Enterprise Institute, the neo-con high temple in Washington, DC. The trouble is that it is Hirsi Ali herself who is caged - by her lack of scholarship and her myopic sense of identity and history. These credentials may carry weight with the neo-cons she will now advise. They ought not to with the rest of us.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

* This article was originally published in the New Statesman magazine on July 24, 2006 and is republished without editorial changes and with the writer's permission.
** Fareena Alam is the editor of Q-News, the Muslim magazine – www.q-news.com

How to Overcome Evil Thoughts

Question :
Dear sheikh, As-Salamu `alaykum. I have a very serious problem. For the last few months, I have been trying my best to follow Islam as closely as possible, al-hamdulillah. My problem is that I think of bad words about Allah, Most High, and sometimes about the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him), too. I cannot help it. It used to be quite bad, then I almost got over this problem, but now it's back. It happens usually when I'm praying. Al-hamdulillah, I love my din (religion) a lot and also Allah. Please do let me know how I can get over this or if there are any du`a’s that can help me.
Answer
Wa `alaykum As-Salamu wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh.

In the Name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful.

All praise and thanks are due to Allah, and peace and blessings be upon His Messenger.

Dear sister in Islam, thanks a lot for your question, which reflects your care to have a sound belief and faith. Allah commands Muslims to refer to people of knowledge to become well acquainted with the teachings of Islam in all aspects of life.

Responding to your question, Sheikh Ahmad Kutty, a senior lecturer and Islamic scholar at the Islamic Institute of Toronto, Ontario, Canada, states:

“Evil thoughts could very well be whisperings of Satan. Whenever such thoughts occur to you, you must turn your attention immediately away from them by seeking refuge in Allah (by saying: “A`udhu billahi mina ash-shaytani-r-rajim; I seek refuge and protection in Allah from Satan, the accursed”). The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said, “Allah has forgiven my Ummah of the whisperings of their souls so long as they do not talk about it or act accordingly.”

To explain this further, our thoughts can be divided into different categories: 1) the constant self-talk or idle thoughts that assail our minds over which we have no control; 2) thoughts that we dwell on; 3) intentions that we formulate based on those thoughts. We are not accountable for the first stage, namely the self-talk unless we dwell on them and nurture them in our minds, since we have no control over them. We are accountable if we dwell on them as well as for the deliberate intentions that we formulate based on these thoughts.

Having said this, it is also crucial for us to consider the treacherous nature of our hearts (more precisely our souls) and must exercise vigilance against them. The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) taught us that “Hearts are ever changing.” The word “qalb” in Arabic means twisting and turning. So we must take care to dismiss and reject bad thoughts that assail our hearts and minds by ever turning to Allah for refuge and protection. We must also recognize that ultimately we have no power to master these evil inclinations except through the help of Allah. The remedy and cure therefore lies in consistency in dhikr (remembrance of Allah) and istighfar (seeking Allah’s forgiveness).

The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) taught us the following du`a’s (supplications) to master the evil inclinations of our souls, and, accordingly, these must form part of the daily spiritual regimen of every believer:

Allahumma ya muqalliba al-qulub thabbit qalbi `ala dinika. (O Allah, O You Who are the twister of hearts, so make my heart firm and steadfast on Your religion).

Rabbi a`udhu bika min hamazati ash-shayatin.
(My Lord, I seek Your refuge and protection against the whisperings of devils).

Finally, read the Sayyid al-Istighfar (master supplication for forgiveness) in the morning as well as before retiring to bed: Allahumma, anta rabbi, la ilaha illa anta; khalaqtani wa ana `abduka, wa ana `ala `ahdika wa wa`dika ma istata`tu; a`udhu bika min sharri ma sana`tu; abu’u laka bi ni`matika `alayya wa abu’u bi dhanbi; fa ighfir li, fa innahu la yaghfiru al-dhunuba illa anta. (O Allah, You are my Lord, there is no god but You; You have created me, and I am Your servant, and I stand firm on my covenant with You according to the best of my ability; I seek refuge in You from the evils of my own actions; I acknowledge Your favors upon me and I confess my sins to You; so forgive me, for no one has power to forgive sins except You.)

Finally, examine yourself, and see if you have been guilty of any major sins; if you have been, make sincere repentance to Allah from all of them without delay.”
(Source: www.islam.ca)

If you are still in need of more information, don't hesitate to contact us. Do keep in touch. May Allah guide us all to the straight path!

Allah Almighty knows best.

How To Survive a Road Trip with the Kids


By Celia Fielding
“You’re driving how many hours with three children?” Looks of horror or sympathy often accompany this reaction when our friends learn we are taking yet another road trip.

Sure we enjoyed flying, when there were only two of us. But soon after our first child became a full-fare airline passenger at the age of two, we realized that driving would be far less of a strain on the family budget. We purchased a minivan and our destiny was sealed: we were officially a road trip family.

With a little advanced planning, the journey can be something of an adventure rather than an ordeal. Here are eight tips for planning an extended car trip with your children:

1. Kids enjoy being a part of the planning process. Involve them in mapping the route and talk about the attractions you might visit. There are even child-friendly maps and atlases available for your child to track the journey.

2. Pack water bottles and juice boxes in a small ice chest, along with healthy (and not too messy) snacks like cheese sticks, grapes and pretzels. Packing entire meals is a good option if you are adverse to the idea of fast food, but the trade-off is you’ll probably have to squeeze a larger ice chest in your vehicle.

3. Get your toddler or preschooler accustomed to going to the restroom when everyone else does. For the very newly toilet-trained, consider bringing a potty chair that can be used in an “emergency.” And don’t forget to bring along hand sanitizer and toilet seat covers for rest stops and gas stations.

4. Let your child choose two or three favorite toys that will fit in their backpack or tote bag. Avoid toys with lots of small parts that can easily be lost. And if you’ve ever tried to remove melted crayon from upholstery, you’ll know not to leave any crayons in a hot car.

5. Provide special travel games or activity books that are new to your child just for the trip. Rather than giving them several toys at once, doling out individual toys at intervals throughout your journey will help your child appreciate each new thing and increase its enjoyment.

6. If you’re fortunate enough to have a DVD player in your vehicle, allow your child to pick out a few movies and bring along a never-before-seen movie or two in addition to the favorites. Headphones can be invaluable for those times when the driver wants to listen to a CD or audio book without being drowned out by the kids’ flicks.

7. Allow time for “stretch” breaks. This could mean a longer meal at a restaurant with a play area, a romp in the grass at a rest area, or a short walk around a scenic viewpoint. We find that our grown-up legs need to work out the wiggles just as much as our little ones’ do. If you’re driving for more than a day and staying overnight at a hotel, find one with a pool or playground for the kids to burn off energy. They’ll have something to look forward to and should sleep well that night.

8. Keep a positive attitude. At some point the kids will probably whine or get restless. An impromptu game of “I spy” or “Twenty Questions” or even a silly song can often break the monotony.

Handling Problems Is Our Job: It's All in How You Hold it

By Michael Angier

I once had a secretary/receptionist who complained that she was always being interrupted with the telephone and constantly bothered by the rest of the staff asking her questions. She was frustrated she couldn't get more of her work done.

We pointed out that interruptions were her job. She looked bewildered for several moments and then brightened up. The idea of the interruptions being her job had never occurred to her before. It was an entirely different perspective for her and she never again complained. She became more productive and enjoyed her job more than ever.

I've had the same issue with my own attitude toward problems. Perhaps you have as well. It's a rare individual who welcomes problems. We weary of having to put out fires and handle difficult workers or customers.

And yet, handling problems is our job. Whether we manage others or serve customers, we're constantly called upon to solve problems. In fact, if there weren't problems, there would be no need for us. As our society becomes more automated, we become less and less necessary to handle the redundant tasks.

What we will be needed for even more will be to deal with problems that arise.

Please don't take this idea lightly. This is not just a simplistic, overly optimistic view of things. You may even want to reframe the word problem by calling it a 'challenge.' If you really embrace it as a new way to view problems, you'll find yourself being more productive and feel less frustration. You'll have a better attitude.

And with that, there's no telling what you can accomplish.

Seven Character Traits Of Successful People


by Chris Widener

1. They are hard working. There is no such thing as easy money. Success takes hard work and people who are willing to do it.

2. They are honest. Those who are successful long-term are the honest ones. Dishonest people may get the first sale, but honest people will get all the rest!

3. They persevere. How many success stories will go untold because they never happened? And all because someone quit. Successful people outlast everybody else.

4. They are friendly. Have you noticed that most successful people are friendly and people oriented? This endears them to others and enables them to lead others to accomplish the task.

5. They are lifelong learners. Successful people are people who stretch themselves and grow continually, learning from all areas of life, including from their mistakes.

6. They over-deliver. The old statement of under-promise and over-deliver became famous because it made a lot of people successful, including the richest man in the world - Bill Gates

7. They seek solutions in the face of problems. Problems are opportunities to do the impossible, not just complain. Successful people are the ones who find solutions.

KEEPING PACE WITH YOURSELF

By Steve Goodier

Who is setting your standards for you?

A true story has it that one older man decided to jog around the local high school football field. As he huffed and puffed along, the team was in practice.

The players soon started running sprints up and down the field. The man told himself, "I'll just keep running until they quit." So he ran. And they ran. And he ran some more. And they kept running. And he kept running until he could finally run no more. He stopped in exhaustion. One of the players, equally exhausted, approached him and said, "Boy, I'm glad you finally stopped, Mister. Coach told us we had to keep running wind sprints as long as the old guy was jogging!"

He was watching them. They were watching him. He was letting them set his standard. They allowed him to set theirs.

My question is this: Are you keeping pace with somebody else? Are you allowing other people to set your standards for you? What about your standards, or principles, for moral behavior? Or guidelines for what kind of attitudes you want, or how happy your relationships should be? Do you keep pace with those around you, or do you decide yourself just how you will live your life? The truth is... only you are qualified to determine what your standards will be.

Set your standards too low, and you'll know only discontent. But set high standards and you can live an immeasurably full and worthwhile life. For only when you reach for the best that is within yourself, will you experience great living.

Who is setting your standards?

Inner Voice

By Julie Clark Robinson

"Men for the sake of getting a living forget to live." - Margaret Fuller

It's the inner voice that's going to do me in. Not the trans fats. Not talking on my cell while driving. Not the pesticides on my beloved cherry tomatoes. It'll be the inner voice. For instance, I am a fairly productive person and I realize that I deserve a break here and there. In fact, I wrote the book on it, so to speak.

The message of my radio interviews, speaking engagements and book (Live in the Moment) is one and the same: to help people learn how to cut themselves a break and create their own pockets of joy, every single day. But even as I try to live up to my own mantra, my inner voice nags at me.

"Hot tea with lemon? Are you nuts? Grab a bottle of water, that'll do."
"You can not take the time to plug in your aromatherapy machine and rest your eyes right now."
"Just do your own pedicure this time, no one will notice."

It's not that my inner voice hasn't read my book. The problem with inner voices, I now realize, is that they speak the same language as our outer voices. And in my case, it's the voice of a born and bred American. Who knew that the home of the free and the brave is also considered by many to be the home of the overworked and under indulged?

I certainly didn't. At least, not until I was flipping through the TV channels recently. The show that caught my attention was about the relaxed lifestyles of other civilized cultures. As I flipped away during commercials, one of the first things that became apparent to me was that other cultures do things like siesta and linger…we flip. So I put down my remote and lingered over one program for a change. (Dare I fantasize that there's a drop or two of blood running through my veins that's from somewhere other than Ohio?)

The people interviewed from Mexico couldn't believe how hard Americans work. They, along with Kuwaitis, take two-hour lunches. People in Malaysia consider their bi-weekly massages a necessity, and not only do the French toil only 35 hours a week, they enjoy five weeks of paid vacation every year.

And, as if all this wasn't enough to put a sock in the mouth of my inner voice, I learned that while we tend to reserve massive shopping, the quest for beauty and lingering over many-coursed meals for the holidays, other cultures consider these things to be worthy on a regular basis.

Imagine that! The very things that my inner voice shakes its finger at me for even considering are a prerequisite for a healthy lifestyle in many countries. I like that. From now on, I refuse to consider myself indulgent or selfish over slowing down and enjoying such necessary things as a nap or a massage. I prefer to think of myself as el Phénomène De Santé (translation: Health Freak).
My inner voice is just going to have to deal.

Sensory Exercise: Indulge your sense of smell with your absolute favorite scented shampoo or shower gel - every single morning. (If you don't have one, head out to the most expensive bath & body store you can think of and let your nose have a mardi gras of its own.) Instead of just enjoying the smell every morning, let it be your reminder that Americans are too hard on themselves. Live a little!

It was a Very Good Day


By John Harricharan

The day before yesterday was a good day, a really good day. Everything worked well. The weather was fair, the computers worked fine and orders for the "PowerPause" (my latest creation) came in at a much higher rate than usual. My world seemed peaceful and I was filled with exhilaration. It was a good day.

Yes, the day before yesterday was the type of day I always like to see. There are many such days. Sunny, warm days, whether because of the weather or because of the warmth in our hearts are always pleasant.

But yesterday was totally different. It was not a good day. It started with my computer giving me all kinds of error messages. I switched to the backup computer only to have it crash the moment I touched the keyboard.

I turned on the laptop and the screen remained blank. I couldn't get through to anybody on the phone. By late afternoon, I leaned back in my chair and sighed. Yes, yesterday was not a very good day.

Today is better than yesterday, but not quite as good as the day before. At least, not yet, anyway. You see, it's still morning. I've got a while to go before this day is done.

Why am I telling you about good days and bad days? Because in life, there will be good days and there will be not-so-good days. No need to rant and rave at the not-so-good days. They will pass. So will the good days also. They both will pass. Nothing stays the same.

All things change. The seasons of the year as well as the seasons of our lives keep changing. It is the law of the universe. So enjoy good days while they last. And the not-so-good days? Tolerate them. They will not last, either.

An old Chinese proverb says, "You cannot prevent the birds from flying over your head but you certainly can prevent them from making nests in your hair." Don't let a bad day keep you from looking forward to good ones.

Live life one day at a time. The Universe will sustain you. You do your part and the Universal Forces will always do theirs. You are as valid and as valuable as anyone else in the world. Keep on keeping on.

To modify the words of U.S. president, John F. Kennedy, "Ask not what this day will bring to you. Rather, ask what you will bring to this day."

May your day be filled with all good things.

PLUSSING YOUR GOALS FOR OUTRAGEOUS RESULTS


By Mark Victor Hansen

One of my favorite life-changing assignments to have people do is to write down 101 goals for themselves. This helps to create a solid list of what they want to do and to have in their lifetime. Then, after that initial list has been written, I ask them to create 10 outrageous goals by plussing, or adding to, their initial goals. These are things so extraordinary that 10 goals are all they need.

Why should people have 10 crazy goals? In order to come up with 10 outrageous goals you must thinking outrageously. You must expand your mind and your realm of what's possible.

The bigger you think, the bigger your world becomes. You begin to think outside of yourself. The more you think outside of yourself, the more you begin to think and do for others. The more you do for others, the more rewards and benefits come back to you. It's a cycle that works for the betterment of both you and the world.

'Big goals get big results. No goals get no results or somebody else's results.'

ACTION STEP - I'd like to offer an exercise to complete in the week ahead:

If you already have a list of goals, we're going to work with that. If you don't have a goal list, take some time before you do this exercise and create a list. It doesn't have to be the full 101 goal list, but write down 10 or so for this exercise.

Once you have at least 10 goals written down, start to plus them to create new extraordinary goals for yourself.

Let's say one of your goals is to feed the hungry in your city. Your action steps include giving canned goods and a bi-weekly check to your local soup kitchen. That is an important and worthwhile goal. But now I want you to plus it. Here's where the crazy, outrageous thinking comes in.

Instead of just feeding the hungry in your city, you're now going to wipe out hungry all over the country. Heck, why not the world? That's your new goal! Now your action steps include: researching the poorest and hungriest countries; contacting corporations and food banks in those countries and asking them to donate food and money; contacting airlines and ground transportation services and asking them to donate their planes and trucks to deliver food to the people; etc.

Plussing your goals allows you to think big, take big action and get big results.

'Achieving your goals will become exciting and provide a meaningful life that's turned on and tuned in at new and higher levels.' - Mark Victor Hansen

I'll see you next time!

Mark Victor Hansen

THE GREAT CHALLENGE OF LIFE

by Jim Rohn

Here's the great challenge of life - You can have more than you've got because you can become more than you are. I have found that income seldom will exceed your own personal development. Once in a while income takes a lucky jump, but unless you grow out to where it is, it will go back to where you are. Somebody once said if you took all the money in the world and divided it among everyone equally, it would soon be back in the same pockets.

However, you can have more because you can become more. You see, here is how the other side of the coin reads - unless you change how you are, you will always have what you've got. The marketing plan won't do it. It's a good plan but it won't work without you. You've got to work it. It is the human effort that counts. If you could send a sales manual out to recruit - wouldn't that be lovely? The major thing that makes the difference is what YOU do.


In order to have more, you need to become more. The guy says, "If I had a good job I would really pour it on, but I have this lousy job so I just goof off." If that is your philosophy, you are destined to stay there. Some people say if I had a lot of money I would be really generous, but I don't have much so I'm not generous.

See, you've got to change that philosophy or you will never have "the lots of money." Unless YOU change, IT won't change. Amazingly, however, when we throw out our blame list and start becoming more ourselves - the difference is everything else will begin to change around us.

To Your Success.

High Jumping

By Brad Yates

Imagine, just for a moment, that you love track and field…particularly the high jump event…

Imagine that you’ve shelled out big bucks to sit right in front of the high jump at the Olympics…

Imagine that Javier Sotomayor, world record holder, is preparing to jump an 8.5 foot high bar…

He begins his approach, and…

Stops in front of the bar and starts complaining about how high it is!

“This is too hard! I can’t do this! I’m going home.”

What would you think…?

You’d probably think he had no right to complain. After all, he’s the one who got himself to this level of competition. And he chose this event – he didn’t have to be a high jumper.

Guess what…you are choosing your life.

Yup – we create our lives, and the challenges that come with it. So, it doesn’t make a whole lot of sense to complain about it.

If Javier attempted the jump, but didn’t clear it, we could forgive him. (Unless you had money on the event…) We’d applaud him for his effort, and still be impressed with what he had managed up to this point. And, we’d know there is always tomorrow.

What about when you hit the bar? Do you feel like a failure? You haven’t failed until you quit. There may be a limited number of attempts in a sporting event, but not in life. The bar may have been set too high – but better too high than too low.

What if Javier came out and successfully completed his jump… but the bar was only set at 2 feet high…?

You might be left with, “I paid good money to watch this…?!?”

What would you think if Javier insisted that he had only signed on to do the 2 foot hop, and also expected a huge endorsement contract for his achievement…?

How often do you look at what’s showing up in front of you and start complaining, insisting that you only wanted to do the 2 foot hop?

Now, it is also true that we don’t really want to see the bar set at 15 feet high - such that we are anticipating something astounding – only to watch Javier clear the bar … by going under it…! In the high jump, the bar is raised in increments of only a few centimeters from the last successful jump. It is not unreasonable for you to do the same.

Whatever the height of the bar in front of you – that’s what you signed up for. There were no guarantees that you would clear it the first time out – or ever. But part of you decided that was the challenge you needed.

Of course, it might not have been a healthy part of you. There may be some part of you that feels a need to fail – to be punished.

Either way, there is a gift in what is in front of you.

You run, you jump, and… either you succeed, or you learn. It’s win/win.

The lesson may be that you need to work on your technique. You may need to improve your training regimen, or your diet, or your coach.

The lesson may be that you’ve come as far as you can in this event, and there is another event where you will be more successful.

It may be that you learn that you never cared for the high jump, and only did it because your parents wanted you to do so – and with this understanding you can heal the past and find your own way.

And…well, there are plenty of ways to interpret the lessons – some more healthy than others. Choose the one that leaves you empowered to move forward, rather than the one that leaves you beating up on yourself.

We enjoy watching events where people give us their best. It’s not just in sports. No one wants to watch Robert DeNiro “phone in” his performance. No one goes to the ballet to watch the Baryshnikov jump in the air and spin just once.

So, why are we so surprised when we’ve set the bar higher for ourselves in this lifetime? Why are we shocked that we didn’t choose monotony?

And, if monotony is what we have, we tend to complain about that, too. It’s a sure sign we haven’t raised the bar high enough for ourselves.

Some people are never happy unless they are complaining. Don’t be one of them.

You chose to be here for the excitement – you signed on for the whole shebang. So…

Imagine that you are at the Olympics, preparing to do the high jump…

You chose the event, you chose the height, and the crowd is eagerly awaiting your attempt…

Be grateful for the opportunity, give it your best shot, and you are sure to be a winner.

Saturday, November 18, 2006

Crimes Of the Heart

Author: Bernadette Ballezza

Crimes of the heart cause us great injury. Hurt feelings, harsh words, nasty misunderstandings leave deep imprints in our minds and hearts. We dwell on the cruel and unkind violations against us. Letting go of anger about things that have occurred in the past is difficult and sometimes feels insurmountable. We get stuck and hold on to our anger, and the wounds grow deeper and fester. The pain keeps us from finding peace within ourselves. When is it time to let go?

It is time to let go when holding on to the anger no longer serves us. When carrying the burden of our anger keeps us from moving in the direction of our ideals. When the anger keeps us from growing and becoming the person we seek to be. How do we begin?

We begin by letting go. Just letting go. We begin by no longer allowing ourselves to dwell on the negative and relive the injustices. We focus on recovering from the injury. We recover by surrounding ourselves with loved ones we can trust and by moving on. Forgiveness comes much later.

Finding peace within ourselves doesn't mean we forget about the crimes. Rather, it means we choose to release them. To learn to live and love in a place where past grievances no longer touch us deeply brings wisdom. A life where harmony resides.

Take From

Asked From God

Author: Unknown

I asked God to take away my pain
God said, No.
It is not for Me to take away, but for you to give it up

I asked God to make my handicapped child whole.
God said, No.
His spirit is whole, his body is only temporary.

I asked God to grant me patience.
God said, No.
Patience is a by-product of tribulations; it isn't granted, it is learned.

I asked God to give me happiness.
God said, No.
I give you blessings. Happiness is up to you.

I asked God to spare me pain.
God said, No.
Suffering draws you apart from worldly cares and brings you closer to Me.

I asked God to make my spirit grow.
God said, No.
You must grow on your own, but I will prune you to make you fruitful.

I asked God for all things that I might enjoy life.
God said, No.
I will give you life, so that you may enjoy all things.

I ask God to help me LOVE others, as much as He loves me.
God said...Ahhhh, finally you have the idea.

THIS DAY IS YOURS DON'T THROW IT AWAY May God Bless You. To the world you might be one person, But to one person you just might be the world

Take From

Never Say Never

Author: T.S

I'm nineteen years of age. In June 2004 my father passed. He died of alcoholism. My mother lived in California, he lived in Maryland while I lived in Utah with my uncle. Now, needless to say, I wasn't that close to my father. He was a royal pain. A few months before his death I got a DUI at age seventeen. I already had a drinking problem. Eventually I fell into alcoholism and habitual "reefer" use.

Well months went by. I met a great girl and fell in love. She fell in love with an addict, alcoholic, and codependent. Neither of us knew it at the time but I was a ticking bomb. This girl was amazing and extremely successful. She was an inspiration to many. She asked me to quit drinking so I did for her. She asked me to stop the "reefer" so I told her I did (can't give it all up). So I played it off for a few months. I was in love, still am. I slipped, had one beer. But when you're a "hopeless" alcoholic, one leads to 100. That was slip one.

So I said I was sorry, won't do it again. While I would have a few beers and bowls on a regular basis, two more months went by and I slipped again, she caught me. I begged, bought roses and I was forgiven. Now a few more months go by, here comes the codependence. Start manipulating her into whatever I wanted, which is very wrong.


The love of my life goes away to college; I was sad. I don't know what I started thinking now. I hit on her best friend. Talked very crude with her, dirty pictures, the whole shebang. My girlfriend comes home on a surprise visit and hears about this - comes over happy and confronts me. I fess up because I love her but yet I did that because of my mental condition. Well needless to say three strikes and you're out. She left me.

I was sober for 146 days prior to this last event. The day after she left me so did my sobriety. Pathetic! A twelver a night was my support group. Two joints in the morning were my coffee. This goes on for weeks.

The love of my life comes home for a few days again. She doesn't want to talk to me. She hears of what I'm doing. Still loving me, is upset that I fell into again. (To let the reader know I have two days sobriety as I'm writing this.) Since I was twelve, 146 days of straight sobriety was the longest I've ever had.

Well now, I see the pain I cause to the people that love me. And it hurts. I've dedicated my life to sobriety, fixing my codependencies in my realm.

The moral is don't lie to yourself or ones you love, nothing good will come out of it. Someone will get hurt, most likely won't be you but someone you love. Never too young to be an addict. Never say Never.

Take From

Friendship vs. Love

Friendship is a quiet walk in the park with the one you trust
Love is when you feel like you are the only two around

Friendship is when they gaze into your eyes and you know they care
Love is when they gaze into your eyes and it warms your heart

Friendship is being close even when you are far apart
Love is when you can still feel their hand on your heart when they are not near

Friendship is hoping that they experience the very best
Love is when you bring them the very best

Friendship occupies your mind
Love occupies your soul

Friendship is knowing that you will always try to be there when in need
Love is when you will give up everything to be at their side

Friendship is a warm smile in the winter
Love is a warming touch that sends a pulse through your heart

Love is a beautiful smile to which nothing compares
A tender laugh, which opens your heart
A single touch that melts away your fears
A smell that reminds you of the tenderness of heaven
A voice that reminds you of the innocence of youth

Friendship can survive without love
Love cannot live without friendship

Quotes for Dreams

"Dreams are extremely important. You can’t do it unless you imagine it."
–– George Lucas

"A mediocre idea that generates enthusiasm will go further then a great idea that inspires no one."
––Mary Kay Ash

"It's the independant American spirit that built this country - hard-working entrepreneurs who believe in the reality of their dreams." Robert E. Hughes

"It was the man's dream, and his inspiring attempt to make them come true that remain important." Francis Ford Coppola

"We must never surrender. America will get better and better. Keep hope alive. Keep hope alive." Jesse Jackson

"We were always dreaming of how it was going to be." George Lucas

"I don't dream at night, I dream all day; I dream for a living." Steven Spielberg

"A civilization is as great as its dreams, and its dreams are dreamt by artists." Anonymous

"Follow your heart and your dreams will come true." Anonymous

"Happy are those who dream dreams and are willing to pay the price to make them come true." Anonymous

"Keep your heart open to dreams. For as long as there's a dream, there is hope, and as long as there is hope, there is joy in living." Anonymous

"Love is what dreams are made of." Anonymous

"No dream comes true until you wake up and go to work." Anonymous

"No dreamer is ever too small; no dream is ever too big." Anonymous

"The key to happiness is having dreams. The key to success is making your dreams come true." Anonymous

"The world is full of Kings and Queens, who blind your eyes and steal your dreams." Anonymous

"We mustn't let our passions destroy our dreams." Anonymous

"Wind to thy wings. Light to thy path. Dreams to thy heart." Anonymous

"Yesterday is but a vision, and tomorrow is only a dream. But today well lived makes every yesterday a dream of happiness, and every tomorrow a dream of hope." Anonymous

"You'll never achieve your dreams if they don't become goals." Anonymous

"Your dreams come true when you act to turn them into realities." Anonymous

"Make no little plans, they have no magic to stir men's blood and will not be realized. Make big plans; aim high in hope and work, remembering that a noble and logical plan never dies, but long after we are gone will be a living thing." Lita Bane

"Vision without action is merely a dream. Action without vision just passes the time. Vision with action can change the world." Joel Barker

"A man is not old until regrets take the place of dreams." John Barrymore

"Dreaming men are haunted men." Stephen Vincent Binet

"Dreams have but one owner at a time. That is why dreamers are lonely." Erma Bombeck

"Dreams that do come true can be as unsettling as those that don't." Brett Butler

"When your heart is in your dreams, no request is too extreme." Jiminy Cricket

"Dreaming permits each of and every one of us to be quietly and safely insane every night of our lives." William Dement

"The end of wisdom is to dream high enough to lose the dream in the seeking of it."
William Faulkner

"Dream no small dreams for they have no power to move the hearts of men." Goethe

"Cherish your visions and you dreams, as they are the children of your soul; the blueprints of your ultimate achievements." Napoleon Hill

"Man, alone, has the power to transform his thoughts into physical reality; man, alone, can dream and make his dreams come true." Napoleon Hill

"We do not really feel grateful toward those who make our dreams come true; they ruin our dreams." Eric Hoffer

"Hold fast to dreams for if dreams die, life is a broken-winged bird that cannot fly."
Langston Hughes

"I had a dream my life would be different from this hell I am living, so different from what it seemed. Now life has killed the dream I dreamed." Victor Hugo

"Many have no happier moments than those that they pass in solitude, abandoned to their own imagination, which sometimes puts sceptres in their hands or miters on their heads, shifts the scene of pleasure with endless variety, bids all the forms of beauty sparkle before them, and gluts them with every change of visionary luxury." Johnson

"All men dream, but not equally. Those who dream by night in the dusty recesses of their minds wake in the day to find that it was vanity; but the dreamers of the day are dangerous men, for they may act their dream with open eyes, to make it possible." Thomas Edward Lawrence

"It may be that those who do most, dream most." Stephen Butler Leacock

"Dream tonight of peacock tails, Diamond fields and spouter whales. Ills are many, blessing few, But dreams tonight will shelter you." Herman Melville

"An era can be said to end when its basic illusions are exhausted." Arthur Miller

Deep into that darkness peering, long I stood there, wondering, fearing, doubting, dreaming dreams no mortal ever dared to dream before." Edgar Allan Poe

"Dreams are the eraser dust I blow off my page.
They fade into the emptiness, another dark gray day.
Dreams are only memories of the plans I had back then.
Dreams are eraser dust and now I use a pen.

Edgar Allan Poe


"The ninety and nine are with dreams, content but the hope of the world made new, is the hundredth man who is grimly bent on making those dreams come true." Edgar Allan Poe

"They who dream by day are cognizant of many things which escape those who dream only by night. In their grey visions they obtain glimpses of eternity." Edgar Allan Poe

"You eat, in dreams, the custard of the day." Alexandar Pope

"Mysterious power, whence hope ethereal springs!
Sweet heavenly relic of eternal things!
Inspiring oft deep thoughts of things divine:
The past, the present, and the future time.
Thy reminiscences transport the soul
To memory’s Paradise—its future goal."

Parley P. Pratt

"The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams." Eleanor Roosevelt

"Dream lofty dreams, and as you dream, so shall you become. Your vision is the promise of what you shall at last unveil." John Ruskin

"In Dreams Begin Responsibilities." Delmore Schwartz

"Our revels now are ended. These our actors,
As I foretold you, were all spirits, and
Are melted into air, into thin air:
And, like the baseless fabric of this vision,
The cloud-capp'd towers, the gorgeous palaces,
The solemn temples, the great globe itself,
Yea, all which it inherit, shall dissolve,
And, like this insubstantial pageant faded,
Leave not a rack behind. We are such stuff
As dreams are made on; and our little life
Is rounded with a sleep.

William Shakespeare


"When the legends die, the dreams end; there is no more greatness." Tecumseh of the Shawnees

"How many of our daydreams would darken into nightmares, were there a danger of their coming true!" Logan Pearsall Smith

"Toil, feel, think, hope; you will be sure to dream enough before you die, without arranging for it." John Sterling

"Go confidently in the direction of your dreams. Live the life you've imagined."
Henry David Thoreau

"If one advances confidently in the direction of his dreams, and endeavors to live the life which he has imagined, he will meet with a success unexpected in common hours." Henry David Thoreau

"We should show life neither as it is or as it it ought to be, but only as we see it in our dreams." Count Leo Tolstoy

"Dreams are renewable. No matter what our age or condition, there are still untapped possibilities within us and new beauty waiting to be born." Dr. Dale E. Turner

"My eyes are an ocean in which my dreams are reflected." Anna M. Uhlich

"We grow great by dreams. All big men are dreamers. They see things in the soft haze of a spring day or in the red fire of a long winter's evening. Some of us let these great dreams die, but others nourish and protect them; nurse them through bad days till they bring them to the sunshine and light which comes always to those who sincerely hope that their dreams will come true.
Woodrow Wilson

"But I, being poor, have only my dreams; I have spread my dreams under your feet, Tread softly because you tread on n dreams." William Butler Yeats

"However vague they are, dreams have a way of concealing themselves and leave us no peace until they are translated into reality, like seeds germinating underground, sure to sprout in their search for the sunlight." Lin Yutang

"It takes a lot of courage to show your dreams to someone else." Erma Bombeck

"The indispensable first step to getting the things you want out of life is this: decide what you want." Ben Stein

Inspirational Quotes for Motivation & Success

"If you want to know the past, to know what has caused you, look at yourself in the PRESENT, for that is the past's effect. If you want to know your future, then look at yourself in the PRESENT, for that is the cause of the future."
—Majjhima Nikaya

"Let go of your attachment to being right, and suddenly your mind is more open. You're able to benefit from the unique viewpoints of others, without being crippled by your own judgment."
—Ralph Marston

"There is a time to let things happen, and a time to make things happen."

"Circumstance does not make the man. Circumstance reveals man to himself."
—Emerson

"People take different roads seeking fulfillment and happiness. Just because they're not on your road doesn't mean they've gotten lost."
—Dalai Lama

"It is easy to dodge our responsibilities, but we cannot dodge the consequences of dodging our responsibilities."
—Sir Josiah Stamp

"Success is getting what you want. Happiness is wanting what you get."
—Dale Carnegie

Friday, November 17, 2006

Simple and Real Friends

A simple friend opens a conversation with a full news bulletin on his life.
A real friend says, "What's new with you?"

A simple friend thinks the problems you whine about are recent.
A real friend says, "You've been whining about the same thing for 14 years. Get off your duff and do something about it."

A simple friend has never seen you cry.
A real friend has shoulders soggy from your tears.

A simple friend doesn't know your parents' first names.
A real friend has their phone numbers in his address book.

A simple friend brings a bottle of wine to your party.
A real friend comes early to help you cook and stays late to help you clean.

A simple friend hates it when you call after he has gone to bed.
A real friend asks you why you took so long to call.

A simple friend seeks to talk with you about your problems.
A real friend seeks to help you with your problems.

A simple friend wonders about your romantic history.
A real friend could blackmail you with it.

A simple friend, when visiting, acts like a guest.
A real friend opens your refrigerator and helps himself.

A simple friend thinks the friendship is over when you have an argument.
A real friend knows that it's not a friendship until after you've had a fight.

A simple friend expects you to always be there for them.
A real friend expects to always be there for you!

The Power of a Smile

She smiled at the sorrowful stranger.
The smiling seemed to make him feel better.

He remembered past kindnesses of a friend
And wrote him a thank you letter.

The friend was so pleased with the thank you
That he left a large tip after lunch.

The waitress, surprised by the size of the tip,
Bet the whole thing on a hunch.

The next day she picked up her winnings,
And gave part to a man on the street.

The man on the street was grateful;
For two days he'd had nothing to eat.

After he finished his dinner,
He left for his small dingy room.

He didn't know at that moment
That he might be facing his doom.

On the way he picked up a shivering puppy
And took him home to get warm.

The puppy was very grateful
To be in out of the storm.

That night the house caught on fire.
The puppy barked the alarm.

He barked till he woke the whole household
And saved everybody from harm.

One of the boys that he rescued
Grew up to be President.

All this because of a simple smile
That hadn't cost a cent.

I Think I Can

If you think you are beaten you are;
If you think you dare not, you don't;
If you want to win but think you can't;
It's almost a cinch you won't.

If you think you'll lose you're lost;
For out of the world we find
Success begins with a fellow's will;
It's all in a state of mind.

Life's battles don't always go
To the stronger and faster man,
But sooner or later the man who wins
Is the man who thinks he can.

A Friend

A friend is a person whom you want to have near when you are dying.
And whom you like to be with while you are living;
To whom you spontaneously turn for help when you are in trouble.
And who is the first to hear the good news when you have good fortune;
Whose counsel you seek when you are perplexed.
And whose congratulations you welcome when the perplexity is solved;
In whom you can confide the secret you want no other living soul to know.
Yet will never pry into your heart to discover
whether there are any more secrets to be revealed;
On whom you can lean when your heart aches.
But who will never take advantage of your leaning;
Who will get down on his knees beside you when you are down.

And forget that he did so when you are on your feet again;
And whose shoulder you can weep on when you are sad.
And with whom you enjoy laughing when you are glad;
Who has a tear on his cheek when you suffer.
And a twinkle in his eye when the sun shines on you again;
Who has pain in his tone when you are in distress.
And melody in his voice when your heart is gay;
Who admires you for your strong points.
But loves you in spite of your weak ones;
Who can laugh at your foibles.
Without despising you for having them;
Who makes allowance for your limitations.
Without allowing them to obscure your talents;
Who is proud of you when fortune favors you.
But not ashamed of you when you fail;
Who contributes to your success without claiming any share in it.
Who can feel and show satisfaction when you please him.
But never resentment when you disappoint him;
Who will tell you the truth even when it hurts.
And to whom you can tell the truth without his taking offense;
Who is not ashamed to ask you a favor even at the risk of being imposed upon.
Who can extend a helping hand and lighten your load
Without expecting any other reward than having had the privilege of so doing;
Who gives all he can whenever he can.
Without ever keeping a record of what he has given;
Who says the best about you when everybody else is saying the worst.
Any person needs at least four such friends;
Every person owes it to himself to be such a friend to at least four fellow humans.

God help me to be such a friend.

Messages from God



Let's Meet At My House Sunday Before The Game. – God

C'mon Over And Bring The Kids. – God

What Part of "Thou Shalt Not..." Didn't You Understand? - God

We Need To Talk. – God

Keep Using My Name In Vain And I'll Make Rush Hour Longer. – God

Loved The Wedding, Invite Me To The Marriage. – God

That "Love Thy Neighbor" Thing, I Meant It. – God

I Love You...I Love You...I Love You – God

Will The Road You're On Get You To My Place? – God

Follow Me – God

Big Bang Theory, You've Got To Be Kidding. – God

My Way Is The Highway – God

Need Directions? – God

You Think It's Hot Here? – God

Tell The Kids I Love Them. – God

Need A Marriage Counselor? I'm Available. – God

Have You Read My #1 Best Seller? There Will Be A Test. – God

Do you have any idea where you're going. – God

The Best Things in Life

Falling in love.

Laughing so hard your face hurts.

A hot shower.

No lines at the Super Wal-Mart.

A special glance.

Getting mail.

Taking a drive on a pretty road.

Hearing your favorite song on the radio.

Lying in bed listening to the rain outside.

Hot towels out of the dryer.

Finding the sweater you want is on sale for half price.

Chocolate milkshake.

A long distance phone call.

A bubble bath.

Giggling.

A good conversation.

The beach.

Finding a $20 bill in your coat from last winter.

Laughing at yourself.

Midnight phone calls that last for hours.

Running through sprinklers.

Laughing for absolutely no reason at all.

Having someone tell you that you're beautiful.

Laughing at an inside joke.

Friends.

Falling in love for the first time.

Accidentally overhearing someone say something nice about you.

Waking up and realizing you still have a few hours left to sleep.

Your first kiss.

Making new friends or spending time with old ones.

Playing with a new puppy.

Late night talks with your roommate that keep you from sleeping.

Having someone play with your hair.

Sweet dreams.

Hot chocolate.

Road trips with friends.

Swinging on swings.

Watching a good movie cuddled up on a couch with someone you love.

Wrapping presents under the Christmas tree while eating cookies and drinking eggnog.

Song lyrics printed inside your new CD so you can sing along without feeling stupid.

Going to a really good concert.

Getting butterflies in your stomach every time you see that one person.

Making eye contact with a cute stranger.

Winning a really competitive game.

Making chocolate chip cookies!

Having your friends send you homemade cookies!

Spending time with close friends!

Seeing smiles and hearing laughter from your friends.

Holding hands with someone you care about.

Running into an old friend and realizing that some things (good or bad) never change.

Discovering that love is unconditional and stronger than time.

Riding the best roller coasters over and over.

Hugging the person you love.

Watching the expression someone's face as they open a much-desired present from you.

Watching the sunrise.

Getting out of bed every morning and thanking God for another beautiful day.

Having friends you know you can cry on or talk to about your deepest problems

Inspiring Stories for Students: FISHERMAN STORY!

One day a fisherman was lying on a beautiful beach with his fishing pole propped up in the sand and his solitary line cast out into the sparkling blue surf.

He was enjoying the warmth of the afternoon sun and the prospect of catching a fish.

About that time, a businessman came walking down the beach trying to relieve some of the stress of his workday. He noticed the fisherman sitting on the beach and decided to find out why this fisherman was fishing instead of working harder to make a living for himself and his family.

"You aren't going to catch many fish that way," said the businessman to the fisherman, "you should be working rather than lying on the beach!"

The fisherman looked up at the businessman, smiled and replied, "And what will my reward be?"

"Well, you can get bigger nets and catch more fish!" was the businessman's answer.

"And then what will my reward be?" asked the fisherman, still smiling.

The businessman replied, "You will make money and you'll be able to buy a boat which will then result in larger catches of fish!"

"And then what will my reward be?" asked the fisherman again.

The businessman was beginning to get a little irritated with the fisherman's questions.

"You can buy a bigger boat and hire some people to work for you!" he said.

"And then what will my reward be?" repeated the fisherman.

The businessman was getting angry. "Don't you understand? You can build up a fleet of fishing boats, sail all over the world, and let all your employees catch fish for you!"

Once again the fisherman asked, "And then what will my reward be?"

The businessman was red with rage and shouted at the fisherman, "Don't you understand that you can become so rich that you will never have to work for your living again! You can spend all the rest of your days sitting on this beach looking at the sunset. You won't have a care in the world!"

The fisherman, still smiling, simply looked up, nodded and said: "And what do you think I am doing now?" He then looked at the sunset, with his pole in the water, without a care in the world.

However, both the fisherman and the businessman were wrong in their materialistic outlook. We don't have to work hard so that we become rich, sit in the beach and have no care in the world. Islam teaches us to work hard to serve our family and our community and earn the pleasure of Allah (swt), regardless of whether we are poor or rich.

The rights of Children upon their Parents


Children are the fruits of material relations. They are the adornment of the house, the beauty of the family, and the seeds guaranteeing the continuation of life. That is why Allah has made maternal affection the strongest of all other living instincts. Childbirth is linked to the desire to survive and be eternal and children represent the continuation of the parents' survival in life.

Islam expresses and interprets these innate human feelings through its laws and legislations, regulating marriage, parental relations and responsibilities, defining the parents' relations with their children and designing the rights and duties of each member in proportion to his role in the family.

a. The father is responsible for providing sustenance for his children as well as meeting their other needs as long as they are below adulthood and even after it, should they be unable to earn their own livelihood due to reasons accepted by Islamic law, such as illness, disability, and the like.

In this way this relationship and the principle of reciprocal undertakings continue. These relations have material and moral dimensions effective in the construction of the family and the society and in strengthening the ties among the members of the family. So the father is the one, who is responsible for arrangements to bring up, nurse, suck and attend his children during their childhood. The mother is exempted from this task. Islam gives the mother the right to be paid for giving suck to her children and for nursing and bringing them up, as the mother is not responsible for that. But she is responsible for proper care and guidance for her children and to bring them up as best as she can, since her role at home is that of a teacher, educator and guide.

But if she volunteers to take care of her children, give them the suck, nurse them, etc., it will be a deed Allah likes to see, and rewards her for it. Actually, Islam encourages her to do so but without any compulsion or obligation.

b. The second right of the children upon their father is the latter's duty in bringing them up with proper guidance, and treating them with the spirit of love and affection.

Naturally a child needs paternal care, love and affection, much as it needs milk, medicine, clothes, etc. The following Traditions urge love and affection towards children:

"Love children and have mercy on them. When you promise them, keep it, as they think it is you who support them."

"Whoever kisses his child, Allah the Exalted writes for him a reward; whoever pleases his child, Allah will please him on the Resurrection Day; and whoever teaches his child (how to read) the Qur'an, he and the mother (of the child) will be dressed in the hereafter in suits whose illumination will light the faces of the dwellers of paradise."

"Allah will have mercy on the man who passionately loves his child."

It has scientifically been confirmed that children who live in an environment of love, affection and parental care, grow up free from any complexities, psychopathic and symptoms of weak personality. Science has also proved that harmonious parental relations have positive effects on the behavior of the children and on their relations with the others, in childhood, adolescence and adulthood. On the contrary, the child who lacks affectionate treatment and grows up in an atmosphere of hatred, spite and negligence, acquires a loose and weak personality, irresponsible and aggressive behavior and suffers from inferiority complex.

Consequently, Islam lays stress on the responsibility of fathers in bringing up the children with proper guidance. It says:

"O you who believe! Save yourselves and your families from a fire whose fuel is men and stones, over which are set angels strong and severe, who do not disobey Allah in what He commands them, but do as they are commanded." Holy Qur'an (68:6)

A man came to the Messenger of Allah and asked him: "What right has this son of mine upon me?" The Prophet replied: "Give him a good name and a good education and place him in a good position."

Thus, it is the responsibility of the father to guide his children and educate them so that they can lead a righteous life. Islam entrusts the father or the consanguineous grandfather, authority and control over the children. At the same time, it holds him responsible for his children's behavior to the rights of others in society.

Wednesday, November 15, 2006

Three Wise Men


One day some wise men, who were going about the country trying to find answers to some of the great questions of their time, came to Mulla Nasruddin's district and asked to see the wisest man in the place. Mulla Nasruddin was brought forward, and a big crowd gathered to listen.

The first wise man began by asking, "Where is the exact center of the world?"

"It is under my right heel," answered Mulla Nasruddin.

"How can you prove that?" asked the first wise man.

"If you don't believe me," answered Mulla Nasruddin, "measure and see."

The first wise man had nothing to answer to that, so the second wise man asked his question. "How many stars are there in the sky?" he said. "As many as there are hairs on my donkey," answered Mulla Nasruddin.

"What proof have you got of that?" asked the second wise man.

"If you don't believe me," answered Mulla Nasruddin, "count the hairs on my donkey and you will see."

"That's foolish talk," said the other. "How can one count the hairs on a donkey?"

"Well," answered Mulla Nasruddin, "How can one count the stars in the sky? If one is foolish talk, so is the other." The second wise man was silent.

The third wise man was becoming annoyed with Mulla Nasruddin and his answers, so he said, "You seem to know a lot about your donkey, so can you tell me how many hairs there are in its tail?"

"Yes," answered Mulla Nasruddin. "There are exactly as many hairs in its tail as there are in your beard."

"How can you prove that?" said the other.

"I can prove it very easily," answered Mulla Nasruddin. "You can pull one hair out of my donkey's tail for every one I pull out of your beard. If the hairs on my donkey's tail do not come to an end at exactly the same time as the hairs in your beard, I will admit that I was wrong."

Of course, the third wise man was not willing to do this, so the crowd declared Mulla Nasruddin the winner of the day's arguments.

This Jokes Take From

Mulla Nasruddin and Speech

Once, the people of the city invited Mulla Nasruddin to deliver a speech. When he got on the pulpit (Minbar), he found the audience was not very enthusiastic, so he asked: "Do you know what I am going to say?" The audience replied "NO", so he announced: "I have no desire to speak to people who don't even know what I will be talking about" and he left.

The people felt embarrassed and called him back again the next day. This time when he asked the same question, the people replied "YES", So Mulla Nasruddin said, "Well, since you already know what I am going to say, I won't waste any more of your time" and he left.

Now the people were really perplexed. They decided to try one more time and once again invited the Mulla to speak the following week. Once again he asked the same question - "Do you know what I am going to say?" Now the people were prepared and so half of them answered "YES" while the other half replied "NO". So Mulla Nasruddin said: "The half who know what I am going to say, tell it to the other half" and he left!

Take From

American way of Journalism (Jokes)

A man is taking a walk in Central park in New York. Suddenly he sees a little girl being attacked by a pit bull dog. He runs over and starts fighting with the dog. He succeeds in killing the dog and saving the girl's life. A policeman who was watching the scene walks over and says: "You are a hero," tomorrow you can read it in all the newspapers: "Brave New Yorker saves the life of little girl." The man says: "But I am not a New Yorker!" "Oh, then it will say in newspapers in the morning: Brave American saves life of little girl" - the policeman answers. "But I am not an American!" - says the man. "Oh, what are you then?" The man says: "I am a Saudi!" Then next day the newspapers say: "Islamic extremist kills innocent American dog."
Take From

GOD EXISTS

A man went to a barbershop to have his hair and his beard cut as always. He started to have a good conversation with the barber who attended him. They talked about so many things on various subjects.

Suddenly, they touched the subject of God. The barber said: "Look man, I don't believe that God exists as you say so." "Why do you say that?"

Asked the client. Well, it's so easy; you just have to go out in the street to realize that God does not exist. Oh, tell me, if God existed, would there be so many sick people? Would there be abandoned children? If God existed, there would be neither suffering nor pain. "I can't think of a God who permits all of these things." The client stopped for a moment thinking but he didn't want to respond so as to prevent an argument.

The barber finished his job and the client went out of the shop. Just after he left the barbershop, he saw a man in the street with a long hair and beard (it seems that it had been a long time since he had his cut and he looked so untidy). Then the client again entered the barbershop and he said to the barber: know what? Barbers do not exist."

"How come they don't exist?" asked the barber. "Well I am here and I am a barber." "No!" - the client exclaimed. "They don't exist because if they did there would be no people with long hair and beard like that man who walks in the street."

"Ah, barbers do exist, what happens is that people do not come to me." "Exactly!"- Affirmed the client. "That's the point. God does exist, what happens is people don't go to Him and do not look for Him that's why there's so much pain and suffering in the world."

Take From
 
© Copyright 2035 FOR LIFE
Theme by Yusuf Fikri